Pushin' Page 19

  I’ve been using my mom’s powers like crazy, learning how to master them but still not able to control my dreams, which is where my true power lies. It’s crazy, I know, but not crazier than Mama going off on her sons earlier this afternoon. Now that was some serious drama, and on Mother’s Day, too. She and Netta left to cool Mama’s head. It’s bad enough she has to live with my trifling uncles every day of the week, but the one day of the year they should be grateful to her, one of them screwed it up by burning up the new stove my mom and I bought her. Mama made it perfectly clear that she’s had it, and I’m with her.

  Rah had to run inside the market for diapers on our way to pick up Nigel, and he took Rahima with him. Mickey’s waiting for us, at the hospital, even if we can’t stay long because it’s getting late. Nigel’s going to spend the night at the hospital with Mickey and her new baby, and his dad will pick him up in the morning. And since Rah’s car is already there, I really just have to drop him and his daughter off, say hi to Mickey and my goddaughter, and call it a night. This has been one of the longest days of my life, and as such calls for a good night’s sleep. Even with school in the morning, it’s the last month before summer and I couldn’t be happier. We all need a break from the madness that is Drama High.

  Prologue

  When Rah, Rahima, and I arrive at Nigel’s house, Mrs. Esop is enjoying the sunset from her garden view on the front porch. Great. Another tough broad to deal with, but I actually respect this one, even if I don’t feel like socializing today. I just want to bless my godchild one more time and go home.

  “Jayd, it’s lovely to see you, my dear,” Mrs. Esop says, rising from the patio chair to give me a hug. “And look at this little princess. Rahima looks more and more like you every day, Raheem.” And she’s right. Rah couldn’t deny his namesake if he tried, not that he ever would. After all the hell he’s been through, first trying to find his daughter the first time Sandy ran off, and then once again after he did find her. Rah loves his daughter with all he’s got and then some.

  Mrs. Esop squeezes Rahima’s cheeks gently, making the little girl smile and hide behind her daddy. She can play that shy role all she wants, but I know Rahima’s a natural born ham and deserves all the attention she can get.

  “Thank you, and happy Mother’s Day,” Rah says, handing Mrs. Esop a box of Godiva chocolates he just purchased on our pit-stop, and from the look on her face, she’s very pleased. What girl doesn’t love chocolates?

  “Oh, baby, you didn’t have to do that, but I’m so glad you did,” Mrs. Esop says, taking the gold box and hugging her play-son. Since Rah’s mom isn’t around—even on her own holiday—Mrs. Esop’s always there for him. “Rah, there are some fresh cookies on the counter. Why don’t you give Rahima one while you wake up my son, who’s asleep on the living room couch? Jayd, how are you enjoying this lovely Sunday?” she says, expertly excusing Rah from our conversation. I’m too tired for this, but it doesn’t look like I have much of a say in the matter.

  “I’ll be back in a minute, Jayd,” Rah says, taking the not so-subtle hint and heading through the front door hand in hand with his toddler.

  “Jayd, aren’t you glad that wasn’t you in labor this morning?” Mrs. Esop asks, sipping her tea and gesturing for me to join her in the chair across from hers. It must be nice to pass the time in luxury. If she only knew I actually did share the labor with Mickey, she’d eat her words.

  “Yes, ma’am. But Mickey handled it like a pro.” Why I just lied, I don’t know. But I feel obligated to stand up for my girl because I know where this conversation is going.

  “You look a little troubled, Jayd. Everything okay?” I checked myself in the visor mirror when I got in the car, but haven’t had a chance to fully recoup from my run-in at Rah’s.

  I hate it when a trick pulls my hair. It messes up the entire flow of my ponytail.

  “Sandy moved back to her grandparents’ house. I helped her pack,” I say, still unable to process the thought. Is Sandy really gone for good? I know Mrs. Esop knows I’m lying about helping Sandy. Everyone knows we aren’t friends, but I’m not going to tell Mrs. Esop I was in another fight. She thinks I’m growing into a nice young lady and I’m trying. But bitches are everywhere and sometimes they have to be dealt with properly.

  “Ah,” Mrs. Esop says, taking one of the freshly cut pink roses from the clear vase on the table, bringing it to her nose and inhaling deeply. “Girls like Sandy are never gone for good, Jayd. Mark my words—that girl will be back.” Mrs. Esop looks at me, her brown eyes narrowing at the truth in her words. I know she’s not fully aware of my powers, but she knows Mama and our lineage so I know she knows more than she’s not saying.

  “Nigel will be out in a second,” Rah says, stepping back onto the front porch with Rahima, who’s happily munching on the baked treat. “Jayd, you ready to roll?”

  “Yes, it is getting late and I know Mickey’s wondering where we are,” I say as I rise from my seat. I lean back and steady myself on the glass table before nearly falling back into my chair, suddenly feeling light-headed. What the hell?

  “Jayd, are you okay?” Rah asks, letting go of his daughter’s hand and grabbing me by the arm, helping me catch my balance. Mrs. Esop rises and takes my other arm with a concerned look on her face.

  “Sit down,” Mrs. Esop says, directing me to reclaim my seat, but I can’t. The pounding in my head creeps from the back of my skull all the way to the front, dulling all other sounds around me. It feels like a brain freeze but much more painful. I look up at Mrs. Esop, who now appears to be Maman, my great-grandmother. I try to scream at the sudden visual transformation, with no success. Before I can let out a sound, Maman’s gone and so is the pounding, but I still feel woozy. Between my lack of sleep, inadvertently sharing Mickey’s labor, and dealing with Sandy’s crazy ass I’m completely wiped out.

  “What’s going on?” Nigel says, stepping out of the open front door looking as exhausted as I feel.

  “Jayd’s not feeling well. Nigel, get her some water,” Mrs. Esops says, now forcing me to sit down, and I allow her to push me back into the chair. Maybe I do need to chill for a spell. Nigel walks back into the house and Rahima follows, undoubtedly going back for another cookie, completely oblivious to my issues. If life were only that simple for us all.

  “I’m fine, really. I probably just need some rest.” What was that? I’ve never seen Maman so clearly outside of my dreams before. It was as if she took over Mrs. Esop’s body for a moment, but I know that can’t be.

  “There’s no probably about it, girl,” Rah says, feeling my forehead like Mama does when she hears me make the slightest sniffle. “You need to chill.”

  “Maybe we should drop you off at home, Jayd. Mickey will understand,” Nigel says, placing a cool glass of water down on the table in front of me. I pick up the crystal cup with both hands and bring it to my lips, sipping slowly at first and then swallowing the rest in two large gulps.

  “Thirsty, baby?” Rah asks, smiling down at me, but it’s no joke. I feel like I ate a block of salt for dinner and Mama doesn’t cook with that much sodium.

  “Yes, I am.” I hand Rah the glass and he hands it to Nigel. “Can I have some more water, please?” They all look at me, amazed. It was a tall glass, but damn. Can’t a sistah get something to quench her thirst?

  “Okay, now I know something’s wrong. I’m taking you home, now.” Rah uses both hands to check my temperature, now annoying me. I gently swat his hands away from my face and attempt again to rise from the chair. Mrs. Esop looks at me and then at Rah and I know what she’s thinking—literally.

  “Mrs. Esop, I can assure you I’m not pregnant with Rah’s baby or anyone else’s for that matter,” I say, steadying myself before letting go of the glass table. “I’m a virgin and plan on staying that way for a long time.”

  “Jayd, how did you know that’s what I was thinking?” Mrs. Esop’s look of concern has turned into one of fear. She obviously knows I repeated her
thoughts verbatim—all without focusing on cooling her mind and allowing me in, like I usually do with my mom’s powers. It was as if she threw the thought my way and I unintentionally caught it. I have to get my mom’s powers on lock and fast, before they get ahead of me.

  “It was written all over your face,” I say, taking the cool drink from Nigel’s hands, swallowing it down quickly and returning the empty glass to him. “We should get going if we’re going to make it before visiting hours are over. We only have an hour left,” I say, glancing at Rah’s wristwatch.

  “The only place you’re going is home,” Rah says, helping me off the porch and down the driveway where we’re parked. “Don’t worry about the car situation. We’ll work it out.”

  “Yeah, man. Drive her home. Mom, can I take your car?” Nigel asks. I know his mom wants to say no, but under the circumstances she reluctantly nods her head affirmatively. I wouldn’t want to give up the Jaguar either.

  “You guys don’t have to do that. I can make it home,” I say and I can. “Thank you for the hospitality, Mrs. Esop, and I’ll see you next weekend for the debutante meeting. The water was just what I needed to feel better.” Nigel and Rah look at each other and reluctantly follow me to my car, retrieving Rahima’s car seat and letting me go.

  “Feel better, Jayd,” Mrs. Esop says, staring at me strangely. I know she’s tripping about sharing her thoughts with me, but what can I say? I didn’t do it on purpose and I doubt I can do it again—at least not willingly. I have a lot to learn about my mom’s gift of sight, and will read up on it more but not tonight. I just want to wash Sandy’s fingerprint out of my hair, watch my Sunday night television shows and pass out on my mom’s couch—no scary visions or crazy broads permitted.

  1

  Nicety

  “The men all pause.”

  —KLYMAXX

  Rah and Nigel must’ve texted and called me fifty times on the way from Nigel’s hood in Lafayette Square to my mom’s apartment in Inglewood. It’s not a long drive because both areas are off of Crenshaw Boulevard and it doesn’t require much thought to get here. I understand their concern and sent them a message as soon as I pulled in a few minutes ago. I’m glad to have my mom’s space to park in so I don’t have to worry about walking down the block by myself late at night. Making it to the front door and up the stairs from the sunken carport is challenging enough.

  “Hey, girl,” my mom says, surprising me as I open the multi-locked front door. What’s she doing here so late? Usually she’d be with her man, Karl, especially after spending the day with us at Mama’s house. Maybe he had dinner plans with his mom for the special day.

  “Hey, Mom,” I say, closing the door behind me. From the looks of it, my mom came home to restock her clothes. She took the jar of quarters from her dresser and put them in one of the three laundry baskets on the living room floor. I guess she’s finally run out of clean clothes. Although knowing my mom, she probably ran out weeks ago and just bought new ones to wear for the time being, which I’m sure got a little expensive.

  I plop down next to my mom on the cozy couch, putting my purse on the coffee table and removing my sandals. I pick up my spirit notebook from the end table and flip through the pages. I should write down today’s events, but I’m too tired to relive the drama.

  “It’s unprostitutional!” my mom says, shouting at the television. Tiger Woods and his hos have been all over the news for months and personally, I’m tired of the shit. If his wife wants to deal with his trifling behavior, why do I care what he does?

  “Mom, is that even a word?” I ask, flipping through my spirit notes and trying to concentrate. I have a lot of work to catch up on, not to mention the personal things I want to focus on, even if I can’t think straight. But with my mom here yelling at the television and sitting on my bed, I doubt I’ll get to sleep anytime soon.

  “It is if I say it is,” my mom says, reaching for the pretty gift basket my cousin Jay gave her for Mother’s Day and pulling out a bottle of lotion. I feel for him not having either of his parents around. Even if Jay’s mom did call earlier, it’s rare for her to talk to Jay, or Mama for that matter. Mama’s always silent about what happened between her and her younger daughter, but I know she thinks about her a lot and so does Jay.

  “So how long do you plan on hiding the truth from Mama?” my mom asks during a commercial break from her gossip news show. Her gift sure does smell good. I wonder if she’ll share.

  “As long as I can. You know she’s going to make me give the powers back, you can even do such a thing.” Stripping them away is more like it. Mama doesn’t believe in me having more than my fair share of powers right now, limited to my dreams.

  “You know it’s not going to work for long, Jayd. The only reason she hasn’t detected them yet is because she’s so distracted with her initiations and stupid sons. You know she does a ritual to keep other people’s madness out of her head while she’s involved in the process, but as soon as she takes a break, she’s going to hone in on your new development, and when she does, God help you.” Why does my mom always have to be so theatrical with her shit?

  I reach for the large gold basket on the table and claim a small bottle of lemon oil to sample. All the products look and smell delicious. Jay gave Mama the same thing, plus flowers and a card. He sure can pick a nice gift.

  “Mom, you worry too much. Like I said, I’ll keep your sight in my head for as long as I can. Once I master it, Mama will be so proud of me she’ll have to let me hold on to your reclaimed powers,” I say, massaging my hands and feet with the intoxicating liquid. I know Mama and Netta have the baddest beauty line available and my novice products aren’t far behind theirs, but it’s nice to try something different.

  “Are we talking about the same Mama?” my mom asks, snatching the bottle away from me. “Mama doesn’t have to do a damn thing. You know it and I know it. Hell, the whole damn world knows it, Jayd.” My mom rises from the couch and walks toward her bedroom. “You’re playing with fire, little girl, hiding this from your grandmother. She’s not going to be happy at all when she finds out you’ve been sitting on this for so long.” I get up from my comfy spot and follow her.

  “I know, Mom. It’ll be okay—you’ll see,” I say, claiming a corner at the foot of her queen-sized bed. I wish I felt comfortable sleeping in her room when she’s gone, but I’d rather be in the living room in case someone tries to break in. That way I can hear them walk up the stairs, and prepare myself ahead of time.

  “I wish I could say the same thing for you, little one, but I can’t.” My mom looks at me, worried that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. “Jayd, how come you didn’t tell me about you retaining this power from one of your dreams, especially since the sight you now possess once belonged to me?” I watch my mom sit down on her bed, and now I realize I’ve hurt her feelings. I didn’t even know that was possible. She’s usually so hard core. My mom looks at me, her emerald eyes tearing up. Now I really feel bad.

  “Mom, I just didn’t think you were interested.”

  “Jayd, if it has anything to do with my baby, I’m interested. And besides, you can look in that book all you want. It’s still not better than firsthand information when you can get it.” I never thought about it like that. My mom’s got a good point, especially since there’s limited information in the spirit book about my mom’s path because she stopped keeping up with her notes in high school. I jog back into the living room, retrieve my notebook and pen, and again make myself comfortable on her bed.

  “Okay, what you got?” I ask, happy for the night tutorial session. I can sleep after she’s gone.

  “Memories and regret.” That’s the first time I’ve ever heard my mom express regret about anything short of marrying my dad.

  Exactly, she says in my mind. Had I not been so hot-headed in the first place, I would still have my powers, and I was just getting good at them, too, my mom continues, eyeing the disheveled room around her. When she left my dad seve
nteen years ago, she also left the house and everything in it.

  “I’ll help you keep my sight under one condition, Jayd. The next time you need help, ask. The last thing I want you to do is have a meltdown like I did.”

  “It’s a deal,” I say, smiling at my mom. She can be real sweet when she wants to be. But like Mama, me, and the rest of the women in our lineage, cross us and nice turns to nasty real quick. My uncle Kurtis is learning that lesson the hard way now.

  “And you have to tell Mama,” my mom adds. “Now that I know, I’m an accomplice and I can’t lie to Mama about this. Promise me that you’ll tell her, Jayd.”

  “That’s two things,” I say, watching my mom get comfortable in her bed that she rarely uses. She pulls back the black and gold comforter, revealing gold satin sheets, and slides her dainty feet underneath.

  “They go together, Jayd. And telling Mama sooner rather than later is of the utmost importance. Mama’s got all kinds of tricks up her sleeve that you know nothing about. I hope you never have to find out what happens when one of her daughters crosses her.”

  “I know, right. I’d hate to be Uncle Kurtis right now,” I say, getting under the oversized blanket from the opposite end of the bed.

  “Mama can be as sweet as honey and as lethal as a rattlesnake when she wants to be. Listen to what I’m telling you, girl,” my mom says, fluffing a large pillow behind her head. “Don’t push Mama too far or she will hurt you. It may be out of love, but it’ll still hurt.”