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  “I’ll be right down.” As usual, the beach air has made my fresh press frizzy, so a slicked-back ponytail will have to do. I’ll have to hook my hair up later on tonight, or in the morning if I’m too tired from this evening’s festivities. Mama usually has a full evening of activities planned for everyone to participate in. She loves to play games like Taboo and Pictionary to get the entire family involved. Mama also makes us choose teams, especially since she and Daddy, my grandfather, are always the team captains. Any chance she has to beat Daddy at any game, Mama’s taking.

  “Nah, nah nah nah. Wait till I get my money right,” Kanye serenades as Jeremy’s ring tone. Damn, I don’t have time for any more drama today and I just left him less than thirty minutes ago. What could he possibly want now?

  “Hey, Jeremy. What’s up?” I ask, propping the phone up to my ear with my right shoulder while squeezing into my outfit. I’ve gained some weight between the holidays and won’t be slimming back down until after the winter break. I hope my mom doesn’t say anything about me stretching my gift out. It seems like she never gains weight, no matter how much she eats.

  “What’s up is you,” he says, his voice as husky as ever. Damn, he sounds so sexy over the phone. “You want to go out tonight? My friends are having a little get-together at the beach and they asked about you.” I know that means his surfing buddies, who will undoubtedly be as high as kites and Jeremy will no doubt be flying right along with them.

  “Thank you, but no thank you,” I say, putting my heels on before heading out the door. I take a quick glance in the mirror, realizing I have on no lip gloss or eye shadow, making me appear plain in this gorgeous dress. I also need something to cover my arms in these short sleeves or else I’m going to freeze my behind off.

  “Grab a jacket and let’s get, little Jayd. You can primp in the car,” my mom says, this time much more impatiently. I grab my mom’s shawl from the coat rack, along with my purse, finally ready to leave. It’s after five now and I know Mama’s waiting on us before serving dinner.

  “I promise I’ll stay sober,” Jeremy says, missing my point completely. “I really enjoyed kicking it with you today and I’m not ready for it to end.”

  “Jeremy, I already told you I have plans with my family,” I say, slamming the door shut behind me as I run down the stairs. I can see my mom’s pissed look from all the way across the street. I bet she could kill someone with one of her looks if she tried hard enough.

  “Don’t play about that, Jayd. Ever,” my mom says way too seriously. I wonder what that’s all about.

  “Well then, invite me to come to dinner at your house for a change. I’ll be happy to escort you, that is unless there’s already someone else on your arm?” Oh yeah, that’ll go over real well, me bringing my white ex-boyfriend to Christmas dinner at Mama’s, even if my original date did stand me up.

  “Why not? Enjoy yourself, Jayd. And you know Mama loves company on Christmas Eve. This would be the best time to bring Jeremy if you plan on keeping him around, even if I do disapprove of the little white boy. But at least he’s cute and treats you well. And if he meets you there, he can take you home and me and Karl can keep moving like we originally planned. So tell him to meet you there and get your ass in this truck now or he’ll be picking you up from here, too.”

  “You know what, Jeremy,” I say, swinging the heavy door of the large SUV open before tossing my Lucky bag onto the seat. I always have to pull myself up high into these large vehicles, messing my dress up and causing me to work too hard. I wish Karl had driven his Camry instead of the Expedition today. “Why don’t you meet me there and then we can go out, cool?”

  “Very,” he says before we hang up. I can hear his smile through the phone. As long as Rah has other interests, so will I, even if Rah is the only ex I really want to be with for Christmas. But like Mama says, gifts may not always come in the packaging I want, but I always get what I need. I just hope she understands that when I show up with Jeremy instead of Rah.

  “I must be the luckiest man this holiday, with the two prettiest women in all of LA riding in my car,” Karl says while I settle into his ride. He pulls off and heads toward the 405 freeway, which will lead us to the 91, the quickest way to Mama’s side of Compton from Inglewood. I’m going to have to learn all of the routes, since I’ll be driving soon. If I get my hustle on over the break, I’ll have more than enough to make a nice down payment on something small and economical. With the high gas prices, I know Karl must be regretting buying this ride.

  “That’s why he got the Toyota to drive during the week. The truck is his weekend car,” my mom says, psychically defending her man. And I don’t blame her. My salty mood is no excuse for me talking about him. Karl’s a sweetie, even if he is twice our size, and he’s good to my mom. What more can a sistah ask for?

  “So, young lady, what did you ask Santa for Christmas this year?” I like that Karl makes small talk with me without much effort. When I talk to my daddy it’s like pulling teeth without Novocain.

  “A car,” I say. My phone, now on vibrate, signals a text from Rah. I’m through crying over his ass.

  Hey baby. I’m sorry about how this day turned out. I’ll try and make it back and join you as soon as I can. I love you, girl. Don’t be mad at me for too long and holla at your boy when you get a min.

  “Well, I think every teenager has the same thing on her list,” Karl continues, taking my mind away from Rah and back to my list. A loyal boyfriend’s also on the list, but I think that’s too much to ask for, even from Santa. “Anything more affordable?” Is he asking because he’s only making small talk or because he wants to get me a gift? None of my mom’s men have ever bought me anything.

  “Cash always works,” I say, just in case this is more than an innocent probe. I can use all the dividends I can get my hands on.

  “That’s my girl,” my mom says, gently rubbing Karl’s hand sitting on the armrest. If I didn’t know better, I’d say they’ve been in love forever. Hard to believe they’ve only been dating for a couple of months. “No matter what they say, cash is still king in my wallet.”

  “So, you don’t want the gold American Express card I got you with your name on it for Christmas?” Karl looks at my mom’s eyes light up like a little girl on Christmas morning.

  “Do I have to pay the bill?” My mom’s nothing if not practical when it comes to her finances. Unlike other baby-mamas, her baby-daddy doesn’t pay all of her bills. Mickey needs to come and spend the day with my mom to get a taste of what it’s like being a single mother, for real.

  “What kind of gift would that be?” Karl exits the freeway, only a few minutes away from my grandparents’ house. Remembering that Jeremy’s never been all the way to my grandparents’ house before, I send him a quick text with the address. I’m sure he’ll MapQuest it if he needs to.

  “Well then, hell yeah, I want my card. Give it up,” she says, patting him down like the police.

  “I’ll give it to you when we get to your mother’s house. Back up, woman,” he says, attempting to gently push my mom back down in her seat, but my mom’s relentless in her quest. I hope Mama finds them as amusing as I do.

  See you soon, Lady J.

  Jeremy’s text has all kinds of undertones in it. I know Jeremy wants us to get back together, but I’m not there. I hope he doesn’t think his coming to Mama’s house is a step in the direction of a relationship. Friends visit Mama too, and I have to make sure he understands that. The last thing I need is more drama with one of my exes.

  2

  Merry Xmas

  “What’s love got to do with it?/

  What’s love but a secondhand emotion?”

  —TINA TURNER

  When we pull up to Mama’s house, cars are parked on lawns, sidewalks, and everywhere else they can fit. It’s always like this on Christmas. All of the prodigal children return home to give and receive guilt gifts, as well as get some good food, which I can’t wait to indulge in. When it
comes to southern cooking, Mama can give Jeremy’s mom a run for her money.

  “Hey, Lynn,” our neighbor across the street, Mr. Baskett, says to my mom through her open tinted window before he sees her six-foot-two man step out of the truck ahead of us. He’s had a crush on my mom forever and ain’t facing reality no time soon. But Karl’s presence might help change that fact of life.

  “Hi, Mr. Baskett,” my mom says. Karl walks around to the passenger’s side and opens both our doors. He’s such a gentleman. “This is my boyfriend, Karl. Karl, Mr. Baskett.” Mr. Baskett waves from across the street, too lazy or embarrassed to walk over and shake hands. He, his wife, and their four children each weigh at least three hundred pounds. It’s rare to see them hanging outside, but it is a holiday.

  “Little Lynn,” Daddy says from his seat at one of the two card tables set up in the in the driveway as we step out of the large truck, parked behind a car I don’t recognize. Maybe it belongs to my uncle Bryan’s new girlfriend, who I’m anxious to meet. It’s rare for him to change up his look for a broad, so this one must be special.

  “Hey, Daddy,” my mom says, wrapping her slender, cocoa arms around my grandfather’s neck. “I have someone I want you to meet.” Karl stands next to my mom, with me close behind. I never get that warm of a greeting because I’m here all the time.

  “Well, this must be the young man taking up all of my daughter’s time,” Daddy says, looking up at a smiling Karl.

  “Are y’all matching on purpose?” my uncle Junior asks, making us all chuckle.

  “Yes, it’s what cute couples do. You should try it sometime,” my mom says, shooting an evil look at her younger brother. My mom rarely has anything nice to say to her brothers if she speaks to them at all. The only one she’s cool with is Bryan, and even that’s a testy relationship.

  “I don’t want to be a cute man,” Junior says, shuffling the deck of cards before dealing.

  “It’s not so bad, as long as there’s a stunning woman by your side who’s making you cute,” Karl says. I love a man secure in his masculinity. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s in love with my mom. There’s hope for the brothers yet.

  “Now that’s a whipped nigga,” my uncle Tommy says, claiming his hand without looking up. They always have some shit to say.

  “Of course he is. Have you seen your sister?” my uncle Bryan says, winking at us both before reaching up to shake Karl’s hand. At least one of them has some manners. “What’s up, man? I’m Bryan, and don’t pay attention to these other fools. They didn’t have their meds today.”

  “It’s all good.” Karl hugs my mom tight, waiting for the next move. I walk around them both and kiss Daddy on the cheek before smacking Bryan in the back of the head, my usual loveable greeting for my favorite uncle, and I ignore the rest and they return the favor. One person I can’t ignore is Misty’s trifling ass going inside of Esmeralda’s house next door. I guess Misty and her mother are spending the holiday with Esmeralda’s evil ass. I didn’t know the devil celebrated Christmas. She glares at me from across the yard and walks back across the porch, disappearing in the multitude of crap lining Esmeralda’s house. Maybe they’ll help her clean that shit up as a gift.

  “Bryan, get in here and help me with this food,” Mama shouts through the kitchen window. Bryan’s the official taster of the household because he’ll tell it like it is under any circumstances, no matter who the cook is.

  “I’ll go with you,” I say, leading the way across the front yard and toward the back gate. The rest of my uncles and company are in the back, smoking, drinking, and doing whatever else they do back there. Ever since Esmeralda caused my headache from hell by staring me down one morning before school a few months ago, I avoid going through the front door at all costs.

  “Hey, Frankie,” I say to one of our neighbors a couple of houses down. He and his white wife usually stay inside, especially on the holidays, when drunken belligerence can come from anywhere and attack the so-called “sell-out” on the block. He’s always been cool with me, and he and Daddy are good friends, so I don’t get into all of the other madness.

  “We’re right behind you,” my mom says, leading Karl to the back porch and up the steps that lead into the kitchen. Mama’s dog, Lexi, lifts her head slightly, giving Karl the eye before she moves away from her customary post across the threshold, allowing us into Mama’s kitchen.

  The thick aroma of homemade stuffing and sweet potatoes hits me in the face like a brick. I can’t even speak I’m so overwhelmed. The room is filled with all of my favorite foods: potato salad, greens, cornbread, a turkey big enough to feed the entire block, fried chicken, rolls, catfish, several kinds of cakes, peach cobbler, and my absolute favorite, cherry pie. Damn, Mama threw down. She must’ve been cooking for two days straight to put out all of this food.

  “Wow,” Karl says, voicing my exact sentiments. Even my mom is smiling through her nervousness. Meeting Mama is always the deal-breaker with her boyfriends. And Mama has been waiting to meet him for a minute.

  “Well, if it isn’t my girls,” Mama says, walking over to kiss us both on the cheek. “And this handsome man must be Karl,” she says, also reaching up to give him a kiss on the cheek. I’m glad it is Karl, otherwise that would’ve been embarrassing.

  “Hello, Mrs. James. It’s nice to finally meet you,” he says, blushing at Mama’s compliment.

  “Well, don’t be so formal. Go on in and have a seat. Bryan, come and get this food so I can feed everyone else.” Bryan walks in, takes his mini-plate and sits down at the dining room table, ready to tear into the food.

  “Here, sample the potato salad,” Mama says, passing a small bowlful to Karl before they take a seat at the dining room table.

  “The tree looks beautiful,” my mom says, knowing Jay and I put it up. We did do a good job this year. Speak of the devil, Jay pokes his head out of his room, waves at us all and goes right back in. Whenever possible, he likes to be alone in the room he shares with Daddy and Bryan, and I don’t blame him. It’s rare anyone around here actually gets time to him-or herself.

  “Is that a new dress, Jayd?” Mama says from her post at the kitchen doorway. She looks so relaxed in her champagne-colored silk dress with house slippers to match. Christmas Eve is Mama’s favorite day of the year, next to Mother’s Day, which is when she shuts down her shop completely and sucks in the entire day. Mama and Netta usually take a trip somewhere and get pampered from head to toe. This year will be no exception to the unwritten rule, I’m sure.

  “No, it’s my mom’s,” I say, eyeing my mom and Karl sitting at the table, feeding each other forkfuls of Jay’s infamous potato salad. We all have our specialties and that’s definitely one of his. My mom is shameless with her affection for her new beau. But so far so good where Mama’s concerned. Mama’s already peeled one of the name labels off of a gift for one of my uncles and put Karl’s name on it instead. Now, let one of my uncle’s girlfriends get a gift meant for my mother and all hell will break loose between Mama and my mom.

  “Oh. It looks so familiar,” Mama says. But the look in her eyes tells me there’s more to it than that. What is she thinking about so fiercely?

  “Jayd, you not eating?” my uncle Bryan asks, slamming down the turkey and gravy, stuffing, sweet potatoes, green beans and chicken on his plate. Mama really outdid herself this year. “You don’t know what you’re missing, girl.”

  “I’m good right now,” I say. Truthfully, I had so much junk to eat at the beach that I’m too stuffed to take another bite of anything. But I will gladly take home a plate or three to munch on for the weekend. I’m sure my stepmother will have a slamming spread tomorrow too, so I’ll be set for the rest of the week with leftovers.

  “Lynn Marie, where’d you say you got that dress from?” Mama asks, not letting go of her lock on my outfit for a second. Something about the way she’s staring at me is making me feel nauseous. Maybe it’s my uncles’ cigarette smoke drifting in from where they’re seated outsid
e playing cards and enjoying some of Daddy’s homemade eggnog, spiked with E&J, no doubt. Karl looks like he’s enjoying his fair share as well. I guess my mom’s driving for the rest of the evening.

  “I got it from a thrift shop on Melrose earlier this week. I was going to wear it for New Year’s, but I thought it would fit Jayd perfectly. Merry Christmas, Jayd,” my mom says, winking at me and getting away with not really buying me a gift—again. Mama’s honey-brown complexion turns pale, and I can’t pick up what’s wrong. Noticing my concern for her, Mama looks me in the eye and some of the color returns to her cheeks, but not all of it.

  “Jayd, you feeling okay, baby?” Mama asks, walking over to where I’m seated on the couch and checking my forehead for a fever. Mama’s green eyes have a red tint across them, indicating just how little sleep she’s had recently.

  “I should be asking you the same thing,” I say, allowing her to quietly probe my eyes, looking for anything but the truth. This whole thing with Rah and Sandy has really gotten out of hand, causing more drama in my life that I don’t need. And, with Laura, the hater from school, and Nellie, my ex-friend, hot on my and Mickey’s trail, I’ve got all I can handle on my plate as it is.

  “Just because your head’s not physically hot doesn’t mean you’re not hurting.” Mama takes my hands out of my lap and cups her hands around mine. Before she can speak another sentence, a wave of shock comes over her and a look of surprise takes over her soft expression. Before I can ask her what’s wrong, I’m pulled into Mama’s world.

  “Jayd, don’t resist. Whatever you do, just let it flow,” Mama says, holding onto my mind with hers. What the hell?

  “Mama, where are we?” I ask, communicating as if she’s in one of my dreams. I look around the room, which looks almost the same as far as furniture goes. But it’s as if they are in a black-and-white movie, watching the show take place from the catwalk of a theater. I can hear my mom and the rest of the family in the background, talking and laughing. But Mama and I aren’t moving at all.