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  “My hair’s being testy,” I say, looking in the passenger’s mirror and attempting to slick down my wayward strands, which is more like a big bush at the moment. I knew I should’ve braided my hair, but I couldn’t find a moment to do it. Now it’s going to be frizzy from being by the beach all day and night. Oh well. This Christmas I’ll just rock the natural look all the way and I’m already knowing it’ll be much to my dad’s disapproval. He’ll just have to live with it because I’ll be damned if I stay up to do my hair tonight. It’s already after nine, and I know we’re in for a long night.

  “I think it looks sexy.” Jeremy and his blue eyes are trying to get me in trouble tonight and I’m not having it. Rah’s already steaming and there’s no need in making that pot boil over. But then again, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

  “I like it when your hair’s bushy, too,” I say, running my fingers through his thick, wavy curls. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Jeremy had a little black in his family. Who knows; maybe he does somewhere down the line.

  “Okay, so are you going to continue to ignore my question or tell me what that was all about with Rah?” I look at Jeremy carefully eyeing the road and can’t help but wonder how far he thinks our friendship can really go. With Rah and me, I know our only limitation is us. But with Jeremy and his family issues, our limitations are more external.

  “That was Rah being Rah,” I say, trying to avoid the whole truth. Jeremy might be a little hot if I tell him that Rah was my first invite and I accepted his invitation by default. “Besides, what difference does it make? I’m with you right now and that’s all that matters.” Did I just say that? I sound too much like a pimp. A vision of Maman and Jon Paul pops into my head, reminding me to be cool. I just saw firsthand what kind of trouble big pimping can get a sistah into.

  “Whatever, Jayd. Just let me know if I’m stepping on anyone’s toes.” Jeremy exits the freeway right by a huge mall where there’s no parking at all. It’s always packed on Christmas Eve. Personally, I like to catch the after-Christmas sales. Usually Nellie, Mickey, and I would hit up the malls and stay until we couldn’t take it anymore. But this year it looks like it’ll just be Mickey and me. I have missed hanging with Nellie’s bougie ass. I hope she comes to her senses one day because I would hate for her to end up on my permanent shit list, like Misty.

  “You’ll be the first to know,” I say, readjusting my mom’s wrap across my shoulders. Luckily I still had a few clothes at Mama’s and was able to change out of my inherited dress and into my new Juicy Couture velour sweats and matching top. I’m glad I brought my mom’s wrap along because it is chilly out here and I’m still in the car. I can only imagine how cold it’s going to be by the beach.

  “I somehow doubt that seriously,” Jeremy says in a bitter tone. “By the way, that was a sweet gift Chance gave you the other day.” I know he’s not jealous of Chance’s Christmas gift from the cast party last weekend. This fool’s really tripping. I wonder if hating is a communicable disease because everyone around me seems to be catching it.

  “Oh, come on. You’re not seriously tripping over a framed program?” But the way that Jeremy’s jaw just tightened its clench tells me he is. Damn, dudes are worse than females when they get emotional.

  “Chance and I are just friends, you know that.”

  “Yeah, best friends. He probably gets the entire answer to his questions when he asks.” I didn’t realize how salty Jeremy was over that. He’s starting to sound like Nellie and that’s not good. All I need is another friend spazzing out on me over some bull.

  “Jeremy, you can either be jealous over Rah or Chance, but not both. What kind of girl do you think I am?”

  “The kind that’s wanted by a lot of dudes.” Jeremy parks his Mustang in one of the various empty spots lining the shore. It’s a perfect night to stargaze: clear and crisp. The smell of burning wood trickles up my nostrils and warms my insides, but not the rest of me. Jeremy’s last comment gave me the chills. It sounds way too much like something my great-grandfather would’ve said to Maman Marie. What the hell?

  “You’re going to have to trust me, Jeremy. That’s all I can say to that.” He looks down at me, turns off the engine and kisses me softly on the forehead.

  “I do trust you. It’s the dudes I don’t trust.”

  “I can’t believe you just said that.” We both open our car doors and exit the vehicle. The cold night air runs up my body but it’s slightly refreshing. He promptly locks the doors and walks around to the passenger’s side, following behind me in silence. “Chance is one of your best friends, too. How do you think that makes him look?”

  “Like a dude. Shit, Jayd, you act like I don’t know how he felt about you. It doesn’t take much to rekindle those same feelings.” Jeremy speeds up his stride as he passes me, now walking backwards and facing me. He’s lucky I think he’s adorable; otherwise I would have been on my way back to Inglewood a long time ago.

  “Yeah, but it takes two to light that kind of fire, and I already have enough heat in my life as it is.” Jeremy turns around with a stern look on his face. We continue our walk toward the water in silence, and I’m glad for it, too. Walking through the deep, soft sand always gives me a workout and I can’t talk and pant at the same time.

  When we arrive at the bonfire, there are about a dozen white guys in wet suits ready to night-surf. The moon is full tonight, allowing them and the sharks plenty of light. You would never find my black ass out in that water, especially not this late at night or in cold weather.

  “What’s up?” Jeremy says to his brother, Justin. Justin’s girlfriend, Kristi, is here along with the rest of their surfer crew. Everyone’s already started smoking and drinking and Kristi has had a bit too much of both, or so it seems.

  “Hey, Jayd,” Kristi says. “Come sit by me. I’m not going back in the water anytime soon.” I forgot she’s also an active surfer chick. I admire her athletic streak, but I can’t get down like that, even if her man is fine. Justin looks at me and winks, making me blush. Jeremy looks at me as he suits up, rolls his eyes, and picks up his surfboard like it talked about his mama.

  “Hey, I see this cheapskate finally got you a necklace,” Justin says.

  I gently finger the puka shells round my neck. His brother gave his girl the same gift. Jeremy’s good with the gifts, even if most are purchased out of guilt. Now that I’m not his girlfriend anymore, it doesn’t bother me as much.

  “Let’s hit the waves, man. I need a break from land,” Jeremy says.

  “I know how you feel. See you in a few, babe,” Justin says, kissing his inebriated girlfriend on the lips before jogging off behind Jeremy. I hope he gets over himself soon. Until then, I’ll just sit here and enjoy the fire. From the looks of it, Kristi’s going to be no good to talk with. It’s already close to ten and I know Jeremy’s going to be in the water for a long time. I’ll just get lost in the waves from where I’m sitting and drown my thoughts in the sounds of the shore.

  I’ve been in my zone for a while now and lost track of time over an hour ago. Whether it’s day or night, the beach can be equally mesmerizing. Interrupting my vibe, my phone vibrates and Rah’s name appears on the ID. Damn, I hope he’s not going to sweat me about Jeremy again, but I already know that’s too much to ask for.

  I got one of my girls. Now, I’m waiting for the other one to stop tripping and act right. I love you, Jayd. Merry Christmas.

  It’s midnight on the dot and he’s my first official Christmas greeting. Why does it have to come with drama? Jeremy and the rest of his crazy group have been in the water the entire time, but it looks like they’re wrapping it up now.

  “Aren’t you cold?” I ask Kristi, who’s now fully awake and aware.

  “Oh, no. I’m used to it,” she says, loading her small pipe for round two of her highness. “Besides, I can’t feel the cold through this poncho.”

  “Yeah, but you’re wearing shorts,” I say, eyeing her toned and tanned legs. I
n the face she looks like a troll doll, but in a cute way. I’m not a boy, but even I admit that her body is banging.

  “You’ll get used to it, too.” Will I ever get used to hanging out with a white boy by the beach? I don’t think so, especially if my hair continues to be naughty by nature. Me and frizz on the weekends don’t work. It’s too much work to try to keep up with my hair during the week, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to worry about it on the weekends, too. I get up from my spot next to Kristi and walk around the waning fire to the other side where the flames are still big.

  “You really are cold, aren’t you?” Kristi says.

  “Yes, I am.” And I’m ready to go. I need all the rest I can get to deal with my daddy and his folks at the Christmas dinner tomorrow. Hearing my mental wish, Jeremy walks toward us, hopefully ready to go.

  “Jayd, you should really considering surfing,” Jeremy says, holding his surfboard under his right arm while walking in from the water. He looks like he’s in a better mood. His blue eyes shimmer in the moonlight, setting off the golden flecks in his dark brown curls. I stand up, indicating that he shouldn’t get too comfortable. As soon as he dries off and changes back into his clothes, we need to be out.

  “Why do you say that?” He steps closer to where I’m sitting, looking back at the waves like he’s already missing the water. These white boys may like to tempt nature but I don’t. As Mama says, we Africans have a keen respect for the living powers in nature and for how small we are in comparison. Jeremy looks at my ass unapologetically. I know I look good in my Juicy Couture, but damn.

  “Because you have a nice, low center of gravity,” he says, eyeing me up and down while walking around me to hug me from behind. I could get in some serious trouble with this dude and that’s the furthest thing on my to-do list.

  “Are you saying I have a big ass?” I ask, playfully tapping his arm as he hugs me tighter.

  “Yeah. Is that a problem?” Jeremy asks, looking down at me. I roll my eyes at him and can’t help but smile. He always has that effect on me. I wish I showed more teeth than tears with Rah. Maybe then we wouldn’t have so much drama in our relationship.

  “No comment,” I say, pulling away from Jeremy. I don’t want anyone here thinking I’m his girl again, even if his hugs are next to heaven.

  “You guys aren’t taking off already, are you? We haven’t even passed the bong around yet,” Jason says, blowing smoke as he speaks. “You’re breaking tradition, dude.”

  “It’s time to start some new traditions,” Jeremy says while taking my right hand in his left, ready to leave his brother and the rest of their crew behind for me. How sweet is that? “I’ll check you guys tomorrow.”

  “Later, y’all,” I say, waving at the crew and following Jeremy. “You know you didn’t have to leave if you weren’t ready to,” I say, panting as we hike back toward the car. If I keep hanging out by the beach my legs will be as ripped as Venus Williams’s.

  “I made you a promise, didn’t I?” Jeremy slows down, allowing me to catch my breath. I’m ready to get out of the cold night air, but my short legs can only move so fast. Noticing my shivering, Jeremy looks concerned. He steps behind me, encloses me in a bear hug from behind and starts rubbing my arms vigorously, as if we need any more heat between us.

  “Jayd, where’s your coat? It’s damn-near forty degrees out here once you leave the fireside,” Jeremy says, stating the obvious. The full moon is directly over our heads, lighting our path. It’s a beautiful night but way too chilly for my bones. Mama would be pissed if she knew I was out here without a coat, but what can I do? I only have enough money for the basics, and layering up has always been my way around purchasing a coat that would cost about the same as a complete outfit.

  “I don’t have one,” I say, following Jeremy back to the car. I’m walking so fast it probably looks like a sprint from afar. “Well, not yet. I’m a little behind on my winter shopping this year.” Jeremy presses his alarm remote, unlocking the doors, and I let myself into the passenger’s side while he puts his wet clothes in the back. His brother took his surfboard in his truck, so he doesn’t have to worry about mounting that thing on the roof and can get in and turn the heater on full blast.

  “Why didn’t your parents buy one for you?” Jeremy just doesn’t understand my world.

  “Clothing is my responsibility. They handle the basics.” Jeremy starts the engine and turns the heat on high.

  “I thought clothes were a part of the basics.” Jeremy takes his huge North Face jacket out of the backseat and wraps it around my shoulders. Now this feels good and it smells good, too. This heavy thing must have cost at least two bills. I wish I could afford a nice jacket like this, but my car comes first. I’ll just have to settle for one of the off-brands I’ll hopefully find on sale the day after Christmas.

  “Thank you, smart-ass,” I say, reluctantly enjoying the doting. But I could use less patronizing from this cat. He gets on my nerves with that shit.

  “Jayd, I’m just saying. I met your family tonight and no one looks hungry,” he says.

  “Looks can be deceiving.” Jeremy smiles at me before moving in for the kiss he’s been holding back all night and I let him. His kisses are too nice to resist. Before we can get too comfortable with each other’s lips, Laura, Reid, and Nellie show up, causing me to feel a twinge of pain. How is it that Nellie can be such a good friend one day and stab me in the back the next?

  “Leaving so soon? We’re just about to light it up,” Reid says, hopping over the side of his mini Benz and letting Nellie out of the barely-there backseat before walking around to open Laura’s door. I wonder how Nellie’s newfound clique is affecting her relationship with Chance? I know he’s sprung, but even he has his pride and his loyalty to Jeremy would never allow him to roll hard with Reid.

  “You don’t smoke,” Laura says, deflating her man’s corny line before Jeremy has a chance to respond. Why do the bitches always get a man, not that I envy her little dude at all, but still? I need to step up my bitch game if I’m going to lock down a boyfriend of my own when I’m ready.

  “What happened to your hair?” I know Nellie’s not talking shit. Her new weave’s hanging so far down her back no one would ever believe that mane belongs to her. And it looks hella expensive: must be a Christmas gift from Chance. How much is he shelling out on her?

  “Nature. What happened to yours, a horse?” Nellie’s eyes narrow in anger and I feel her embarrassment. Sistahs don’t usually talk about the secrets of the trade in front of white folks, but she started it and I could care less about her little feelings getting hurt. She didn’t care about me when she decided to tell Laura about me signing Mickey’s note. When Mickey asked me to do it, I knew it was wrong, but I can’t take it back now.

  “Shut up, Jayd. You’re just jealous,” she says, flicking her black tresses over her shoulder, just like Laura does. Oh, this is too much for me to stomach.

  “Yeah, that’s it. I’m jealous that you’re hiding your perfectly healthy hair under some fake shit.”

  “It’s better than looking like Angela Davis without the fist.” Jeremy, Reid, and Laura look on as we battle it out. Black history’s way out of their league.

  “I’m surprised you know who Angela Davis is and I’ve got your fist,” I say, smiling at my former homegirl. Damn, she’s on it tonight. It must be the full moon.

  “I know a lot of shit, remember that.” Nellie’s threat isn’t veiled at all and it’s about time to call her on her shit. I’m tired of playing with her. If she wants to ball with the big girls, now’s the time to take it to the court, for real.

  “Yeah, the type of shit only a best friend would know, right, Nellie? So, does Laura know all of your secrets too, or are you just divulging me and Mickey’s business to the broad?” Both girls look at me, shell-shocked. I guess Chance really did give up the family jewels when he told me about how Nellie has to sell out to hang with Laura.

  “Remember, payback’s a bitch
,” Laura says, crossing her skinny arms over her flat chest. If she didn’t have money and wasn’t dating Reid, she’d be a plain Jane.

  “Yes, I can be and I didn’t even have to read any books on the subject, unlike the two of you. Go figure.” When Tania was here, they had their own book club on how to be a better bitch.

  “Just shut up, Jayd,” Nellie says. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nellie looks nervously at Laura, who looks pissed that I know one of their hazing requirements. But I’m on a roll and I’m going to keep on going until I get what I want: total humiliation for Laura and her wack-ass crew, even if Nellie’s now a part of it. It was her choice to sell her soul to the devil and it’s mine to drive them all back to hell where they belong.

  “You didn’t really think you’d get away with selling us out, now did you, Nellie? You haven’t even seen what’s in store for you yet, but you will when we get back to campus in a couple of weeks. Have a nice break.” Not knowing what else to say or do, she and Laura follow Reid toward the beach so we can finally leave.

  “Merry Christmas,” Jeremy yells after them sarcastically before pulling off. It’s going to be a long drive back to Inglewood, but I’m sure we’ll make the best of our time together. He rolls up both of our windows and heads toward the freeway.

  “I don’t know what’s up with Nellie. Have you talked to Chance about her?”

  “We don’t talk about stuff like that, Jayd. We’re not girls. The less I know about his love life, the better.”

  “Love life? Nellie doesn’t have a love life.” Portishead’s melodic beat slowly creeps through the speakers, mellowing out our vibe. This night would’ve ended perfectly if I hadn’t run into Nellie. What the hell?